What Is This A Crossover Episode?
by rhpsdeadzonefan
Summary: Based on the writing prompt: The crossover episode to end all crossover episodes. Christian and Sean find themselves at PPTH. A crossover between Nip/Tuck, House MD, and Doctor Who.


A/N: Originally posted on Reddit. For clarity's sake, the fandoms used are Nip/Tuck, House MD, and Doctor Who. [WP] The crossover episode to end all crossover episodes.

Dr. Christian Troy and Dr. Sean McNamara had found themselves in Princeton, New Jersey at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Really, it had been neither's first choice, but with Christian's dire cancer diagnosis, he had been grasping at straws and wanting to get more opinions other than his own oncologist and none came more recommended than Dr. James Wilson.

Things with Sean had been a little rocky at best lately, but Christian was scared and according to his own doctor, he was dying. This was a last resort, but he was already having his doubts.

"Sean, I think this may have been a mistake," Christian commented as they were seated in Wilson's office, waiting on him to get there.

"We haven't even met him yet," Sean said, rolling his eyes.

"It's a _teaching_ hospital," Christian said with a hint of disdain in his voice.

"What's wrong with it being a teaching hospital?" Sean asked him as Christian squirmed a little in the seat. "We did rotations at a teaching hospital when we were in med school," He reminded him.

"And that means we know how much these kids screw up," Christian said with a frown. "Interns are great for a quickie in the supply closet, but I don't want a few of them going over my case."

"They might find something that someone else has missed. Besides, I don't think Dr. Wilson has anyone working with him," Sean said just as the door opened.

"Wilson, where are-" House paused, seeing the pair seated across an empty desk. "Where's Wilson?"

"That's what we'd like to know. Who the hell are you?" Christian asked, a little perturbed at having to wait so long. He looked over the scruffy looking man with the cane, who was currently popping a couple of pills into his mouth. Christian frowned at the display. "The resident junkie here?"

House smiled. "Oh, you got me," He said sarcastically as he walked further into the room and walked behind Wilson's desk to rifle through it.

"Are you... You're not Dr. Wilson, are you?" Sean hesitantly asked.

"No, but he owes me twenty bucks..." House lied, continuing to look through drawers.

"This is ridiculous," Christian said, standing up. "I'm going to go call security."

"Sit down, Gucci Pants," House said to him, rolling his eyes. "I'm Dr. Gregory House," He introduced. "Security already knows me."

"Wait, did you say _House_? As in _the House_?" Sean asked, completely starstruck, much to his partner's confusion. "Christian, don't tell me you've never heard of him. His cases are always featured in all the journals," He mentioned. "I'm Dr. Sean McNamara and this is my partner, Dr. Christian Troy," He introduced, holding out his hand for House to shake. When it wasn't reciprocated, he awkwardly pulled his hand back.

"Are you two here for a consult with Wilson? I wouldn't have pegged you for oncologists... Maybe you," He indicated Sean. "But not him," He said, giving a glance to Christian.

"We're plastic surgeons," Christian informed. "And we're leaving," He said, heading towards the door.

"If you leave now, you'll have to get a consult with another oncologist and that one may not catch the mistake on your workup, Gucci Pants," House called out to him.

"How did you know we weren't here on behalf of a patient?" Christian questioned.

"Please. That's why they pay me the big bucks. Also you've got that whole fifty yard stare that all desperate chemo patients have about them... or I might have just seen your file here on Wilson's desk," House stated.

Christian was outraged. "You know what, I don't give a shit who you say you are. I'm still going to get security. And who just leaves their patient files out and open like that-"

"Not Wilson," House realized. "He would have put this away. He wouldn't have just left it open on his desk if he was going away for any amount of time or he would have locked the door behind him when he left." He reached for a nearby phone on Wilson's desk to page him.

Suddenly, in the corner of the room, there was a blue box materializing and House nearly dropped the phone. Sean stood up and backed towards Christian, who was frozen in the doorway, still shocked at what they were seeing. There was a creek of a door and Wilson stepped out of the blue police box.

"House, you're never going to believe where I've been," Wilson said, looking a little bewildered.

A grey haired man wearing sunglasses and with a guitar strapped to his back stepped out of the box.

"Hello. I'm the Doctor," He introduced.

House looked over, appraising the man and the situation at hand. " _Bitchin_ ," He said with a grin.


End file.
